Incompetent management of programmers

Question

Project management

I collect a selection of idiotic quirks from the authorities, incompetent in managing software development. Starting from the classic “We don’t have time to hand over the project? “Let’s hire more programmers!” and ending with the not entirely obvious from the point of view of logic: “If you do not have time to fix bugs, make me one more feature, in order to atone for your guilt!”

Fellow programmers, tell us, why are you sometimes dumbfounded by the management?

Answer 1

clientsfromhell.ru/ - I recommend. An analogue of a foreign site of the same name in the .net zone.
I sometimes read in the evenings. Replacement for the dead bash :)

Answer 2

"Why don't you print?"

Answer 3

I am working on internet projects.
Request to the technical support department: “It is necessary to allocate a static IP and Internet access for the server”
Answer: “It is necessary to justify why you need a server, why it needs a static IP if everything is via DHCP, and why the Internet is there.”
That's how many years I've been working, asking myself the same questions, why do web developers need a Server with the Internet? =)

Answer 4

Not so long ago, they said that the online store needs sorting by the date the product was added (this is still far away) and by article, and only the admin sees it, I didn’t argue anymore.
The worst thing is when those departments are called to a planning meeting and you sit there like a fool, steaming there for an hour, moreover, there is not a word about those departments, only a report from the boss.

Answer 5

We switched to a new ABS (banking system) - on the part of the employees of the bank of discontent through the roof. By order of the head of the IT department, on the third day, all employees' desktop wallpaper was changed to the inscription "I love IBSO"

Answer 6

Killed the implementation manager's advice given to the designer - Don't think, just draw!

Answer 7

The book "Facts and Fallacies of Professional Programming" has a lot about the mistakes made by the authorities.
habrahabr.ru/blogs/books/99375/

Answer 8

with us, to add a new server to a rack, you need to contact the department of economic security

Answer 9

I have a good example at work of a department head who does not know what his subordinates are doing, because. quite a large project he "designed" in his head. Many are amazed at such management, when the boss monitors the processes and asks what you are doing now.