A joke cheat sheet on project deadlines

Question

Project management

Good people, it seems like a topic with a comic definition of deadlines for projects has recently run through on Habré.
Something like: a
week = two weeks, because after Friday there is still a part of Monday, and the matter drags on until Wednesday for
two weeks = a month ...
In half a year - such a value does not exist at all.

I want to find and print it at work.
Search, alas, is not.

Answer 1

"Today Tomorrow.
"Tomorrow" - remind tomorrow that today (see "today").
"During the week" - next Wednesday.
“During the week, but before the weekend, please” - on Monday.
"In two weeks" - a month. *
"Month" - an indefinite, very large amount of time.
"Three months" - three indefinite, very large quantities of time.
"By autumn" - when the snow falls. Snow falls every year, so "by autumn" is the most favorable period, which is almost impossible to miss.
"In a year" - not used, because. there is "by autumn".
___________
* There is a popular misconception that two weeks is 14 days. This is not true. Two weeks is 14 days + “during the week” (because the second week has not yet ended) + tomorrow (“one day will not make the weather”). In special cases, the countdown of "two weeks" starts from the following Monday, thus gaining a few more days.
If you're lucky, the result is a month of deadline and a delay of only one day ("tomorrow").

Answer 2