What marketing techniques irritate you the most?

Question

Marketing

Background:
There is such a young man - Timur Tatzhedinov. In short, the guy went to the states, settled there and for some time led a quite tolerable podcast about life “there” mixed with attempts to add. earn money by collecting paid seminars on the topic of immigration. The podcasts about life were interesting, but the attempts in the info business were, in my opinion, too popular. The loss of my interest in this person coincided with his decision to take the latter seriously, and I began to receive more and more spam announcements of the so-called. themed webinars. I was about to clear my mail with sending it to the trash / spam, but one of the topics hooked me - a certain Natasha Cooper was supposed to broadcast. All that she became famous for in her life was that she was a personal simultaneous interpreter for some public figures such as M. S. Gorbachev in his meeting with R. Reagan. However, I have heard of her
So, I have been listening to this online webinar (which, most likely, was not online, but “broadcast” in the recording) for almost half an hour, and I understand that I am being fed another marketing dummy, baked according to the best, but such hackneyed and boring Western recipes , which for some reason I wanted to disassemble by bones in this particular example. What do we have here?
1. Outline the problem
2. Show the end goal
???
4. PROFIT
With the first, everything is clear, the second point was really enticing, they promised a lot of things. As you know, the third point in a distilled form suitable for use by the average man in the street does not exist. I have always been interested in its substitutes and approximations. This webinar did not shine with diversity and moved along a completely hackneyed path - such a typical dregs consisting of some personal stories / experiences mixed with quotes from unverifiable, and therefore irrefutable sources (“Baba Masha wrote to me in her letter ....”) I can't wait to finally be offered something to buy. A lot of water, miserable grains (or even a complete absence) of something truly useful, coupled with completely obvious, common truths, distraction of attention, departure from the original topic, inconsistency of form with content and, in the finale, for the most persistent,modern ifnobusinessman marketing art. Yes, I forgot, still often, in order to justify the always overestimated amount, phrases like “this is not a purchase, this is an investment in yourself” are added, as if in justification, after which the prices of competitors multiplied by three are brought to heighten the effect.
Question:
And what tricks do you know of ovno-marketers / ifnobusinessmen, from which you are already sick?

Answer 1

4D, 5D… ND cinemas.
New shampoo with jojoba extract.
Nano technologies.
Experts confirm that the blind thrower is the best pasta.
Learn N in M ​​days.
Become successful by attending N courses.
Apple is cooler because it has no viruses. This is a very secure system.

Answer 2

Three cores, three eiders and a gaming video card ... well, such a manipulation is often meaningless numbers / facts

Answer 3

Another manipulation with polls like “99% of women confirmed - the product of the year” where below the usually small unreadable text you can understand that the survey was conducted among three deaf and dumb people in 1973.

Answer 4

Personally, it annoys me when it starts with sweetening, creating positive images, cheap compliments and tricks like NLP :( It infuriates me right when they come up with a banal question and start to soar some kind of blizzard about the end of a beggarly life, well-being for loved ones ... bue.

Answer 5

Large: We have a free return or exchange!
Fine: subject to a list of 113 conditions

Answer 6

Only today, special offer! Buy a TV for 200,000 rubles and you will get a pen for 15 kopecks for free as a gift. You didn't hear! Yes, you will get this wonderful pen! Hurry, the offer is limited!

Answer 7

Your list of steps is reminiscent of the classic SPIN sales technique.
SPIN - a chain of questions:
S - situational questions
P - problematic questions
I - extracting questions
H - leading questions.
It annoys me when this is applied to me and generally smacks of NLP. And still I do not like doctors-consultants in all forms.

Answer 8

In most marketing infographics, this is:

Instead of being honest:

Answer 9

all the techniques of this kind of "marketing" to push "products" and "services"

Answer 10

I listen to one radio in the car. Advertisements are played on it, where they first talk about some historical fact (they draw attention) and smoothly switch to selling goods. It is very annoying to listen carefully to the commercial.

Answer 11

1+1=3

Answer 12

But the right marketing makes the impossible =)

Answer 13

When buying four pepyaks, the fifth pepyak is free

Answer 14

Yota WiMax 4g
About all Chinese 5g, 6g, etc. shut up, they're supposed to.

Answer 15

*-bacteria and other jaded things that “people eat”.
For these reasons, the zombie box almost never watch.

Answer 16

- Overpayment on the loan is only 6% (actually it is 32% per annum)
- We will give you 16,000 rubles for 40 rubles per day (here it is generally 260% per annum)

Answer 17

"please stay on the line, your call is very important to us"
Or such a variation - on the office's website "we love and appreciate every client, we are looking for a personal approach blah blah." When calling that office, rude and short: “Hello? Che? Not."

Answer 18

Studies have shown that %OurPepyaka% sings 43.7% better than regular pepyak.
%OurPepyaka% is the only pepyak approved by the Worldwide Pepyak Center!