Which solution to choose for a mail server on VDS?

Question

Exim

Not so long ago, I started renting my VDS server. Communicating on the forums, I heard opinions that your own mail server is very dangerous because of spam, which needs to be controlled 24/7, colleagues advised me to switch to some external servers from Mail.ru. Advise on which solution to choose so that everything is as safe as possible. I do not use mailing lists, only data from the forms on the site, orders from stores, etc. are used.

Answer 1

I know that many will not agree with me, however, I think that your server should be made either for large organizations, or fin or classified.
And it's not a fact that in the boxed versions there are no super accesses for developers and relevant authorities. I'm already silent about hosting support.
And I constantly face the minuses of my mails in the course of my work.
I'll try to list:
1. They often take up space on the server, you have to switch to more expensive tariffs. For some mailers, the place is not limited at all.
2. Web interface a la Roundcube - definitely without ads, but it's terribly inconvenient. Yes, there are third-party apps, but they need to be configured. The advantage of a good web interface is that you can log in from any computer, from a client, while visiting your parents or from your wife's computer and work comfortably.
3. There are no hostings, professional mailers have their own applications for iOS and Android, with connection without dancing with tambourines
4. Ease of moving, if the mail is not hosted, but separately on a professional mail. It is convenient that the site and mail are in different places, and the relocation of the site does not concern mail, and vice versa. In addition, on many professional mailers, you can migrate mail in a couple of clicks, for example, you are tired of mail ru - they switched to gmail with all the content. Moving mail from hosting to hosting is often worse than dancing with tambourines.
5. Spam. Yes, of course, it seems to everyone that I will set up on my server, not a single spam letter will go through. In reality, it doesn’t always work out that way, and even the necessary letters get mixed up.
And finally the cherry!
6 and last. Deliverability. I constantly come across that letters from hosting go to spam. It seems that everything is set up, SPF, DKIM, DMARC are registered ... And the letter is in spam. And this is where it starts. There are many more options than on the same Mile ru for business. Then HELO and rDNS are not aligned. Then spam is sent from your IP. If it's not selected. And your letters at the same time define everything as spam. Then someone from a neighboring IP sent spam and a couple of blacklists threw the entire range of the provider into their blacklists. Then the active manager sends commercials clumsily, and the recipients click on spam, although they were called up. And the IP address is completely unheated ...
And about the options ...
It is possible to make separately mail, and separately SMTP. For example, free and dimensionless mail ru for business and smtp bz with a free rate of 15,000 letters per month. There are many options for mail. Yandex Connect, Google Workspace, Yahoo Small Business. Not satisfied - for particularly sophisticated options from Switzerland - Migadu, ProtonMail, Infomaniak ...

Answer 2

heard opinions that own mail server is very dangerous because of spam

As the administrator of several of my own mailers, I refute this statement. It's all a matter of setup