Resume of system and network administrator. What to improve?

Question

Summary

I am currently looking for a job in my specialty in Dubai. Filled out a resume on Linkedin. But there is a sense of inadequacy. Tell me what, in your opinion, needs to be finalized or stylistically altered proposals. How to optimize the profile so that HR can find the profile themselves (passive search)?
CV

Answer 1

English
Limited working proficiency

Learn the language.

Answer 2

The language is really creepy even to my, I think, rather average look. With times it is especially bad, constantly in the past, then in the present tense of the phrase. Another "positive account holder experience" - what is it? "including performing monitoring" - uh... "Raises department visibility by maintaining the department's tourist web site" - uuu... Let's somehow make the phrase shorter and clearer, at the same time there will be fewer errors with declensions. "Cisco Small Business series 300 switches administrated" - three hundred switches were administered, wow!
The NAS model would be specified. About "utilized Asterisk for the delivery of food in the restaurant" they have already said that there is no specifics. "Largest restaurant in Derbent, Russia" I think no one will be interested - extra irrelevant words. There are still there.
And in general, from a technical point of view, it looks interesting. Good luck to you there to push the Arabs and Indians :-)