How to conduct grooming (backlog grooming) as efficiently as possible?

Question

Agile

Hello!
Tell me how to conduct backlog grooming rallies most effectively?
A team of 6 people - 5 developers and a tester. The following problems often occur:

• 1. half voted for 5 sp, the second half 8 sp. everyone said their point of view. As a result, no one convinced anyone and we simply accept 8 to include hidden risks in the assessment. Is it right to act this way?
  
• 2. everyone voted for 2, one for 3. The arguments of the person who voted for 3 did not work, everyone remains with their 2x. As a result, I ask the person who is in the minority by 2 to agree and he agrees with a very dissatisfied face and remains dejected and unhappy.
  
• 2.1 can similarly happen when one person voted for 3, as in the case above, but for 5, or even for 8.
  

When this happens, certain people (and often different ones) begin to doubt the value of their vote and, instead of defending their opinion about the assessment, they simply try to get into the same figure as the majority, which turns the assessment into some kind of formality.
Similar situations happen again and again. Tell me how to solve them?

Answer 1

1. The way of making decisions is not a dogma, like everything in Scrum. The team chooses him. You can use a) the classical approach - consensus (democratic but slow), b) decide by majority (less democratic but fast), c) entrust the assessment to those who are most likely to do the task. Incl. this can be done outside of the scrum meeting, although it is not recommended. If in case b) the votes are evenly divided, then you can either extend the discussion until one person changes his mind, or always use the rule of choosing a lower (challenge) or higher (margin) score.
2. Judging by the description, the problem is that the team is not quite mature for agile yet. Mutual trust and self-organization play an important role among the values ​​of agile development. If people get offended when others don't agree with them, it means they are putting their ego ahead of the interests of the team. This happens in teams that have become a team simply by appointment of the authorities. They take the framework itself, procedures, but no one thinks about the main principles. Embedding Scrum values ​​is the job of the Scrum Master. Explain, educate, first of all, by your own example. As soon as a few leaders appear who are imbued, the rest will catch up. Further - it will be easier. Beginners will adapt by watching the others.
To prevent people from trying to "get into the same figure" use planning poker. And the purpose of the discussion is not to "defend your opinion", but to give the team more information to make an informed decision.