How do you work with bounce emails?

Question

Amazon Web Services

The situation is something like this, there is a website and notifications about viewing a profile and new messages are sent from it to the user, some of the letters do not reach for various reasons (the email was deleted, the box is full, etc., etc.), bouncers appear about this, they are sent to the email from which it was a letter has been sent.
Since most of my clients are in amazon, I usually use amazon ses to send mail, their bouncers can be tied to amazon sns and it will already call the script on the site and send it all the information about the bouncer, and the script turns off any letters to the email to which mail is not sent.
The question is how to do the same beautifully for sites not in amazon.
Who uses what?
The essence of the task at the first bounce, I want to turn off all notifications in the user settings. I am only interested in the issue of tracking the bouncers, I can do everything else.