How to update an object in an array in an object or insert it if it's not there?

Question

MongoDB

There is a DB parents-children.
Parents' names are unique. The names of children are unique to the parent.

{
  parent: "Ivan Ivanov",
  children: [{
    {name: Masha,
     age: 20,
     sex: female
    },
    {name: Vasya,
     age: 23,
     sex: female
  }]
}

Let's say the child has changed gender - how to update the information if there is already a child with the same name, but if not, then insert it?

db.parents.update({parent: "Ivan Ivanov"}, {$addToSet: {children: {name: Vasya, age: 23, sex: male}}}, {upsert:true});

- just adds another child Vasya.

Answer 1

https://docs.mongodb.com/manual/reference/method/d...
upsert: true
upd:

db.parents.update(
  {"$and": [
    {
      parent: "Ivan Ivanov"
    },
    {
      "children.name": Vasya
      "children.age": 23
      "children.sex": "male"
    }
  ]},
  {
    "children.sex": "female"
    // тут, если не сработает, попробуйте полностью обьект заменить
  }
)

something like this, also try
upd2:
the more I work with monga, the more I like it, here is a 100% working version:

db.getCollection('parents').update({"parent": "Ivan Ivanov", "children.age": 23}, {"$set": {"children.$.sex": "male"}})

Answer 2

The names of children are unique to the parent.

If you need uniqueness within a document, use a dictionary (object) instead of an array.
Judging by this structure, there will either be duplicates of children in the database, or the children will not have children and there will be only one parent, if children need to be referenced, then it is better to store them in separate documents.